Why "Just" Jan?

                                                                                      

I was recently questioned about why I use the title Just Jan. The questioner was quite polite, even complimentary stating, "Why do you do this? You are so much more than "just" Jan." I felt humbled by the compliment but also had a quiet little laugh for they had totally misunderstood the reason I use Just Jan.

Let me explain...

I was named after my Uncle Jan, my dad's youngest brother. We are predominantly Dutch and Jan is a Dutch male name for the English name of John. In Europe, it is pronounced Yan as opposed to the hard "J" sound in the States. Growing up, when asked for my name, I would reply "Jan", which was generally followed by a series of questions. 

"Is it short for Janice?"

"No."

"Jannette?"

"No."

"Janelle?"

"Again, no."

I would then be called upon to explain... I was named after my Uncle Jan (see above). It was all very confusing to a ten-year-old and I learned to dislike my name. Why did my parents think it was acceptable to saddle me with a boy's name? 

Then I grew up. 

I rather enjoyed being different and being the only girl named Jan. (This is not true anymore as I've met half-dozen women named Jan.) At any rate, it is so much easier to state my name, why I was named with a single syllable male appellation, and end with the explanation, "No. It truly is 'just' Jan."

I look at my life and see 48 years of marriage (which is hard but rewarding work), 8 children for which I am half responsible (see the 48 years of marriage), 27 grandchildren for which I am only indirectly responsible, and a gazillion years of schooling ending in a recent PhD. In my tenure on earth I've learned to cook, bake, do masonry, plumbing, and electrical work, remodel, redecorate, general construction, reupholstery (thanks to YouTube), hang wallpaper, can fruits and veggies, sew and even tailor suits and wedding dresses, as well as a short stint designing costumes for a costume shop. When listed like this, I do see these accomplishments as somewhat extraordinary, but it is still just my life. I get up each morning, accomplish what is before me, and then sleep at night. I like to work hard, am naturally curious, a writer, a perpetual student, and a voracious reader.

There have been euphoric highs and desperate lows and there have been days in between that were just days. I've wept at loss and laughed with friends until the tears fell in pure joy. I've kissed boo-boos and accepted a handful of crushed dandelions from a grubby little fist with the same excitement as an expensive bouquet of roses. I've sung lullabyes to down-covered nodding heads and at times wished that I'd never taught my children to say "Mama." For non-parent-type people, ‘mama’ can be overused to distraction at times, but my little geniuses figured a way around even that, “Mama, Mama, Mama, Mom, Mother… Jan!”

So you see, "JustJan" is just me and all the various me's that make up the me that is... just me.

'Just a girl' featuring a picture of myself as part of my Pacific University art show.
Calligraphy on acetate, photography, and watercolour